We have now been back living together for 3 weeks. I've read her text messages with the guy and there was no meet-up planned. One of her self-admitted issues is that she sometimes can have a tendency to over-drink when she is sad, depressed, or anxious. Well you put yourself in that situation and another dude kiss you or you both kiss each other. I Cheated On My Boyfriend When I Was Blackout Drunk Black Out Drunk And A Guy Kissed Me | Relationship Talk I lied to my boyfriend and said I went home and passed out. I could see by the look on his face he realized he had done something wrong. But be prepared for future triggers, so that you can find a healthy way to cope with the bad feelings when they come up. Who was there? : r/relationship_advice 8 yr. ago by I_need_him_back Privacy Policy. Yeah that is true, it's just crazy how he was supposed to be looking out for me as I don't do anything like this ever and he was the one to put me in a stupid situation. Things will be different from now on, with her needing to demonstrate better judgement and boundaries in a way she didn't need to previously. Now I still haven't seen the CCTV footage and will hopefully be seeing it tomorrow but I still have no idea what actually happened and have spent the last 4 days crying inconsolably and hating myself for hurting the man I deeply love. If she was feeling bad about herself, it likely was for the validation of feeling attractive and wanted, as well as being distracted from her bad feelings more than wanting to be with the guy. I cant eat, I cant sleep and I cant stop crying about this. (And it wont happen again). Youre allowed to not be with someone thats cheated on you! He is being so nice to me and that makes me feel even worse like I dont deserve it! Youll be a better version of yourself at the end, BECAUSE you can never forget. I'm assuming she's also ended her friendship/association with this individual? If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number. Posted by 5 minutes ago. If she really didnt want anything to do with the guy she would have panicked and stopped things immediately, but she actively participated in moving things further, including going back to the guys place. I couldn't imagine what that would feel like - to know you hooked up with someone, but not know what had happened to your body or how far it went. Hi. If you or her dont even know what are the root causes that propel her to binge drink, be at these parties, have suchso-called friends or thecauses that trigger her tofeel anxious and depressed,of course youre unsettled and uneasy. It was 9 months ago and I just was told. If that is the case, the only thing to be done is take that person home and put them to bed (without you in it). Yeah I know I did it to myself and I honestly feel so terrible for it and yeah I know we spoke about it again today and he says he understands and we can move forward I just cant forgive myself for it. Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. From what youve written, this woman sounds like a keeper. That is so, sooo much better than those people who make mistakes but have no regrets or cares about who they hurt. You said that you would never have done it if you were sober, right? There is a strange thing about how it is that she left town for a sporting event, and the next evening there was a party in the town where he lived. She told me "I got really drunk last night" - which immediately concerned me. Of course, the drinking is another issue altogether. She was so relieved to know that they had not had sex. The coworker also has a girlfriend so I thought he was just too drunk and wouldve stopped there. Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total), How to forgive myself for kissing someone else, This topic has 4 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated. I told her she needed to call the guy and find out what had happened because the not knowing would drive me crazy. If my GF was consenting to sex there would have been no condom (she has an IUD), and they would have been in the bedroom, not on a couch. Its likely that youve shared a drunken kiss with someone if you drink alcohol. My relationship with my boyfriend isn't perfect, but we work as a team and have overcome many things together. THEN, she immediately confesses. Eventually, its no longer a thought that gets popped in whenever it wants. Im thinking about getting therapy so this never happens again. What do I do? Context is that Im currently in a good and loving relationship with someone. For more information, please see our I dont want to make my partners feelings any worse. It was awful, she was crying and telling me it was the biggest mistake of her life and she doesn't understand herself how it could have happened. You told your bf and he forgive you so just communicate with him moving forward. I kissed a guy when I went out and I was really drunk. The next night there was a big wrap-up party in town. You two broke up for a cause. (Raises hand. The first time was with a guy who was clearly into me, and I allowed him to flirt but we never kissed, so that doesn't really count. Cookie Notice The distrusts. No matter how pressuring he was, you could have refused. He said NO - then he said - we made out on the couch, I had my hands down her pants, I had a put a condom on, but it never got to that point. In addition to blacking out, an individual can also suffer from . That sentence you wrote made me smirk. Next thing I remember from the night is my boyfriend storming away from me, leaving me crying and clueless. But it does get better. It would be very concerning if she actively kissed him for longer than 10 seconds while out partying. Its the self-described anxiety and depression she told you about that needs to be addressed with her healthcare provider, a doctor, not just a therapist/counsellor. If the only thing you remember about the kiss is the smell of alcohol on the other persons breath, then its probably best to forget it and go on. Well you said that he had people accusing him of some horrible things, since you known him for a while you probably never believe it until it happen in front of your eyes. TL;DR : Got drunk, Blacked out in patches, kissed a guy in front of my boyfriend, boyfriend wouldn't talk to me for 3 days then broke up with me via text and wouldn't hear me out. I have always had the fantasy to see my wife have sex with a * black guy My girlfriend got drunk and kissed another guy, 2 months later she got drunk and kissed a girl, HELP. I don't understand how a person knows they kissed someone if they were blacked out drunk. There was nothing pre-planned or pre-meditated. The faster someone drinks, the more likely they are . There's a Reason Why You Get Touchy-Feely When You're Drunk So I had to learn pretty much the same lesson dont get super drunk. This website is using a security service to protect itself from online attacks. Even if they dont hear it from you first, they will eventually find out. She called me in tears afterwards. You can. I will never know for sure, but in my heart I believe that he was the one who made the pass, made the move, and wanted this to happen. I appreciate that you have like my input. You can change your mind at any time during the encounter. and our 1. Need help with your relationship? Inhibitions are lowered by alcohol. It isnt just her binge drinking. He had a rep, you didn't believe it until it happen before your eyes. One of her self-admitted issues is that she sometimes can have a tendency to over-drink when she is sad, depressed, or anxious. Can drunk sex ever be consensual? - CBS News I rejected him, saying I have a boyfriend and showed him photos of my boyfriend and I together. 1 2 Next Page 1 of 2 bigdumbdumb Members 4 Posted July 10, 2016 I made a huge mistake last night. I was obviously upset, and was asking for more details - where did it happen? How Long After a Breakup Do Guys Regret It? I'm overly huggy when drunk but I never knew it was that bad. I woke up in the bed, which they explained that they put me there, and that I also made out with one of our friends. I pushed them away immediately after realising what was happening and I made me and my friends leave the club instantly, but I gave them my number after the Kiss while I was leaving. I can't remember going to bed or anything before that. It's a misconception that people who can't handle their booze are more likely to black out. A person can progress from blacking out to passing out. allow yourself to accept that you are human and you made a mistake that hurt someone. I came across this at a time when I am dealing with a VERY similar situation. It sucks, but it is what it is. This is a long winded story but I have been really struggling so I want to share. "Anyone can black out if they drink enough fast enough, regardless . You dont actively FEEL the clothes youre wearing unless something draws attention to it, and EVEN THEN, weve been so accustomed to wearing clothes that we just dont feel them. Dasher94, November 9, 2022 in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy. It's too late now. I told my partner instantly the next morning and they were hurt but they forgave me and we are working through it. All rights reserved. Cookie Notice He asked me not to tell anyone because his girlfriend works at our firm. It seems like an excuse to some, but I know my GF and I've seen her black out before, and I fully believe that she doesn't remember all the details. If you dont know what happened, you shouldnt have a talk about it. If youve been here before or are with a companion who can handle it, dont worry. She didn't remember any of this. I just feel so bad for allowing myself to be in that situation I've been devastated since it happened but thank you all for replying x. I went to a festival with my best friend of 8 years, I trusted him dearly, one night we went to watch an act and he bought me a whole bottle of wine and I kept telling him I couldn't drink it however he didn't take no as an answer and it was expensive so I didn't want to waste his money. Fortunately, any problem can be fixed with effective communication. You can email the site owner to let them know you were blocked. Intoxication may negate the element of criminal intent. Do people actually "accidentally" cheat when they're drunk or do they You need to stop replaying it all in your mind and let it go. I kissed a coworker while blackout drunk last week, and am consumed with guilt. More posts from r/Advice 834K subscribers Aggravating_Cap_6186 1 day ago I (25F) kissed someone who isn't my boyfriend (33M) while blackout drunk TLDR: I've been dating my boyfriend for 8 months. How long was it? I told him because I couldn't continue a relationship knowing I'd lied . I have a partner of 5 years and he knows this, I'm very confused and this has played on my mind for a very long time. When you have a drink alone. Assuming you still have history and chemistry with your ex, this might be more than just a one-time drunk kiss. Hi. For many people, drinking too much alcohol too quickly, or on an empty stomach, can cause a blackout. Response 1 of 4: I mean seems like an honest mistake/accident from this post, since you guys are LT friends, just tell him hey dude just so you know you blacked out and kissed some rando and he needs to make his decision from there. My guy best friend and I were drunk at a party and we kissed and he kept te Im a guy and i had sex with my guy bestfriend drunk. I've been working in a nightclub on saturdays with him for 9 months and I got a new job which is also saturdays but I had one weekend off and I thought I'd have a night out, I don't usually get very drunk as I usually stick to a limit but my friends were feeding me drink and I was buying drinks as well because it was a special occasion. How you handle the aftermath of a drunk kiss depends on who you kissed. I did however hug a lot of friends a lot, and I didn't even like that myself watching it. The 5 stages. I thought that's why people who were in that condition said they couldn't remember anything that happened because they were "BOD". She made a vow to change for the better - she promised me that she would embrace sobriety, make a serious change with her drinking for once and for all. She's not the only one that needs counselling. Remember People You Have Forgiven When all else fails, remember that at some point in your life, someone else had to ask you for forgiveness. Then theres the kiss of infidelity. Its preferable to be polite if the other person recalls the incident and brings it up in conversation. Sometimes not accepting mistakes that are too huge and too large is a product of facing reality. However, the number of drinks it takes to get to that point varies according to the individual. same will happen with this bad imagery. of non-alcohol to alcohol in a drink could mean the difference between a fun time and a bad morning as a result of a blackout. Other way is to forget about it and maybe discuss it with a close friend or therapist. It turns out it was worse than she rememberd. Oh really? How to forgive myself for kissing someone else - Tiny Buddha What do I do? Do you think I made a mistake giving this woman another chance? Forgiving Yourself for Embarrassing Drunken Behavior I keep comparing myself to other couples thinking I bet she hasnt done that to him because shes not a terrible person. The trouble is that all it takes is a single kiss to relapse. Yes, a person can get blackout drunk and do dumb things or put themselves in a vulnerable position, but those actions tend to stem from somewhere. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. Discuss with partner whether he would prefer you to contact the 3rd party asking them not to contact you & then block his number or just block his number. When his name is mentioned. I am always fully transparent with him and have never lied to him, telling him all the secrets Ive never told anyone else. and our A blackout can also be caused by . She may be more interested in seeing her doctor and describing her moods, addictions, loss of control. Anything you have done to forgive yourself? Maybe theyll get it and be able to move on, too. There are several actions that could trigger this block including submitting a certain word or phrase, a SQL command or malformed data. I was extremely drunk and I dont remember much but someone kissed me in the club, only a few days ago. . By browsing this website, you agree to our use of cookies. Privacy Policy. you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. Click to reveal You acknowledge what you did was wrong and you also know a great way to prevent that mistake from happening again. Do you think you could just keep quiet and pretend it never happened? On the dancefloor a guy kissed me and the second I realised what happened I stopped it even in my state I knew what had happened. Ive had to learn this exact lesson myself. I kissed another Man, please help. - Netmums
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